May
24
Hope for your Marriage
Filed by Becky Albrecht Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
In today’s news, it was reported that the actress/comedienne Anne Meara has passed away.
CNN reported that, “Meara and her husband, Jerry Stiller, were married for 61 years and worked together almost as long…”
This report reminded me of the commitments that are part of the marriage ceremony.
Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife…
Do you take this man to be your wedded husband…
The “I do” that we say when we get married is in answer to questions about taking this person as our spouse. We are also asked if we would love, comfort, honor, and keep him/her. For better, for worse (not as one comedian once said “For better, or forget it!”); for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; forsaking all other keep only unto him/her…as long as we both shall live.
So the promise is made to be committed to this marriage until God chooses to close the door. As long as we both shall live.
Have you ever wondered whose idea marriage was in the first place? The answer is that it was God’s idea. God was the one who designed marriage. He was the one who compared marriage to Christ and His bride the Church. Christ loved us when we were not lovable; and He gave. He gave His life for the Church.
It is this same God Who also tells us to love our spouses. To husbands, God says: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). He tells wives that she “must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). God also tells us that we should love our enemies. So, if we are in a very difficult situation, and we can’t think of our spouse in terms of loving feelings; and we can’t think of our spouse even as merely a stranger; and if the term “enemy” is a closer approximation, we are still not off the hook. God tells us that in the strength of His Son Christ, we can love our enemies. Even if that “enemy” is the person to whom we are married. Remember that love is an action, not a feeling!
When Jesus was on this earth, He told a story about a servant who owed his master a lot of money (at least $10,000,000). He couldn’t pay, and the master was about to put him into prison. When the servant pleaded for mercy, the master forgave him his debt. This same servant had someone under him who owed him a very little amount of money (could have been about $18). The servant who had been forgiven of the great debt demanded to be paid. He grabbed and choked his servant, and then threw him into prison. When the first master heard of this, he threw the “unmerciful servant” into prison. (Matthew 18:21-35). You and I are like that first servant. If we have received Christ as our Savior, we have been forgiven of an enormous, gigantic debt that we owed to the King of Kings. For us to turn then and say we cannot forgive our spouse puts us in the position of being the unmerciful servant. We have been forgiven, and we must forgive. Is it easy? No. Is it impossible? With God, all things are possible! (Matthew 19:26).
God tells husbands to “rejoice with the wife of thy youth” (Proverbs 5:18). He does not say “suffer through life with the wife of your youth.” We are not necessarily doomed to a life of misery. In the Bible, God tells us that our spouse may possibly be won without a word by observing our actions (I Peter 3:1-6).
If you are in troubled waters in your marriage, it may help to remember these things:
1. Changing circumstances do not change the promises you made when you married, nor do they change your obligation to them.
2. The grass is not greener somewhere “out there.” There is nothing better for you that you’ll find out there. Consider this: God is the God who knows the end results of all possible choices, and He has chosen this marriage for you.
3. Marriage takes real effort. Starting now, consider making the effort, in the strength that God gives you, to demonstrate God’s love by serving your spouse.
God tells us: “A soft answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). Pray that God would make your answers soft and gentle.
God is a God of Hope. It may be the case that day by day, He will increase the hope within your marriage.
God assures us in His Word that He is the Husband to those who are abandoned. Each of us is individually responsible for our own actions, not the actions of others. If you are abandoned, even after your re-commitment to your marriage, God promises that He will take care of you (Isaiah 54:5).
There is a God. He cares about you and your marriage. You can trust Him with your future. There is hope for seemingly hopeless marriages.
We grieve today with the Stiller family, and I personally salute Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara who were committed to their marriage vow: “Till death do us part.”
